The Sun Sets

The sun is setting. I am sitting on soft sands in the shores of an unknown beach. It is one of the seasons that I love. I just love it when seasons keep on changing. I love the process of changing and not the changing itself. This season; it is summer going fall. The wind isn’t too much cold. I could say that things are normal for me.


I am sitting watching the sun set minute every minute. I couldn’t forget this day; the day of my freedom; the day that I finally break free. I don’t want to end this day but it has to be. Tomorrow’s another day, another milestone. I carefully breathe in the heavy wind for the coming season. The cold breeze of wind is blowing my hair everywhere. I really don’t care how I looked like, all I want is to stay here, sit here all I want. I slouched digging my fingers in the soft cool-warm sands. Amazing! I can finally think straight. I can finally say plan my life properly. Amazing!


I look at the right side of the beach, there are people playing in the waves; A cute little girl with bright curly brunette hair and pale green eyes caught my attention. She looks so happy with what seems to me her father. I smile at this scene. There’s a little pain in my heart whenever I think of family. After what had happened to me, having a family of my own is quite blurry to me. I feel a little envious for them because they are happy. However I know I shouldn’t be. That is wrong. I just smile. Keep on smiling until the pain goes away. The father seems to notice my observation so I just look on the other side of the beach however nothing is there to see so I just watch the sun set on his own beautifully.


Alone. How long will I be alone? Maybe I am created to live alone. If that so, I must plan my life on my own. I breathe in heavily. Pain comes back. I breathe in and take a few seconds before I breathe out. My eyes become heavy and it feels like my eyes want to cry but I manage not to. I am done crying. I am so done at being feeling broken; At feeling lonely; At feeling alone.

The sun keeps on setting. The father and child seems to be done playing and is about to go home now. They are so happy. However they seem to be just to be two. Her mother should be at home waiting for them. How perfect this scenery is. If only I have my Polaroid with me. I embrace my knees to hold myself for another gushing of pain.


So I keep on sitting on the beautiful beach watching the beautiful sun to set. Everything seems to be orange now. It is getting dark. I keep on sitting, wishing that all the pain that remains will go away with the hard winds. I wish that after this day everything will become brand new.

I am breaking up into pieces again but not to become lonely. I am breaking up into pieces only to put together again correctly. I keep on hugging my knees. The wind is starting to get colder now than half an hour ago. I grow smaller and smaller in the greatness and in the beauty of this beach. A tear fell on my right cheeks. This will be the last shedding of tears. I promise myself.